Chaos...and so much to say

So much is going on...

I've been feeling quite sick lately and it can be one of two things. Either I'm just way sick from my personal trainer working me so hard or I'm pregnant. It's more than likely due to me working my abs so hard. It's so sad that I hurt way bad when I cough, laugh and just plain move. It's pathetic I know...but I guess worth it in the end. If I want to be fit for when I get pregnant, that I have to go through pain right now.

For the last two days I've been in bed just watching all my shows like "A Wedding Story" and "A Baby Story". It's fun to see all of the cute babes even though it just makes me more baby hungry. I just am so excited to have a mini me. I'm just so stoked that Bryan is totally onboard with us starting a family now. Now is the perfect time or so it feels like.

I started my new job a couple of weeks ago. It's new, exciting, stressful, chaotic...and I'm not so sure about it. My official role is Event Manager which means I do everything. I do wedding coordinating during the day, I make sure the events go smooth, I make sure the servers are doing their job, I hire, schedule and train the servers. pretty much I'm the only one with wedding experience at work so they rely on me heavily which is quite stressful. I'll definitely stick with it for now, but I want to be a mom more than anything...even more than having my own reception center. Strange eh?

I can't believe I have so much to say. My hubby always tells me that I keep things in until they get to where I just can't keep it in any longer and I seem to lash out. He says I get this from my family and it made me really want to change that. I don't know why my family does this but now it makes sense why I do it. I never knew if my parents had financial issues or problems with each other cause they never showed it to us kids. I always thought they had the most absolute perfect marriage & now that I'm older, my mom has shared a few of their hardships with me. I really did think marriage would be easy based on what I saw & now I really now hard it is.

So my new goal besides doing well at my job & getting pregnant is to be able to express my feelings to my husband & not keep them bottled in. I know this will improve our relationship so much & will help me in more ways than I can imagine.